One Way I Prepare for My Death

Savoring a Particular Parenting Moment with my Kids

Fall 2015

I don’t know what it will be like on my death bed, if I get to be on a death bed, but I do know that I want to be there without regret. I don’t want to wish I took more time with my kids or loved ones to do things that I should have been doing. So for my parents I try to interview them regularly. I need to do that more often as well as pray with them and read the Bible with them since I also have the privilege of being their pastor.

One of the things I do with my 5 kids is go to each of their beds and lay down next to them and talk. I ask them how their day was, what their blessings and burdens for the day were, and if there’s anything they want to talk about or ask about. Then I sing their hymn to them (a unique hymn for each child) and then I bless them with the blessing of Numbers 6:24-26. This can take a long time sometimes and I miss some nights or some kids fall asleep before I get to them.

But the thought that I wanted to post today was that I try to savor my moments with them: the hugs, the kisses, the blessing, the singing, the smiles and laughs and stories. In the future I’ll wish I had more time to do these things so I want to remember that and savor each bedtime hangout with each child. I know I won’t regret it later even though my myopic perspective in the moment tells me it’s not a big deal.

Parenting kids in the home is a temporary privilege.

Savoring my time with each kid before they sleep is worth every moment.

P. J. Tibayan is a member and pastor of Bethany Baptist Church in Southeast Los Angeles County where he lives with his wife and five children. He blogs at A Christward Life (saintpj.com), helps lead both Shepherd LA and The Gospel Coalition Los Angeles Regional Chapter, and holds a doctorate in biblical theology from Southern Seminary.