Fathers who are Pastors: Your Household is both the Prerequisite and Primary Ministry

Two Reasons to Invest in Your Family

In 1 Timothy 3.4-5 Paul teaches us that the pastor-elder must be "one who manages his own household competently, having his children under control with all dignity. (If anyone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of God’s church?)."

If the household of God is more important than our biological family, why must the pastor be able to manage his household well?

1. Managing your household well proves you might be able to manage the local church.

  • Mismanagement of the household is concrete proof that one is unable to manage the local church.

2. Managing your household well equips you to manage the local church

  • If you neglect the priority of the home then you'll develop a habit of neglecting your most important priorities in other areas.

  • If you grow in leading and shepherding your wife or kids it will help you to patiently and firmly shepherd the church family.

  • Managing your household is a sure reflection of a man because pastoral management inevitably adapts to his leadership, whether good or bad. This gives the pastor-elder an immediate testing ground and barometer to measure his pastoral effectiveness in the home.

So what should we pastors do?

  1. Repent to God of our failure.

  2. Repent to our wife and children of our failures.

  3. Pray for and with your family members daily

  4. Teach them formally (family chapel) and informally what you're learning and what God says about what they're experiencing in a given moment.

  5. Listen and ask meaningful questions to get the spiritual temperature of each family member.

  6. Plan the direction, diet, and growth of the home spiritually and in all of life.

  7. Model repentance by sharing your burdens and confessing your sins to your family in wise, appropriate, and intentional ways.